Often we dream of the perfect family and perfect relationships but what if yours was not perfect. What if you are carrying anger or sadness from growing up and now have to take care of the person that hurt you. This is reality for many caregivers. They do not have a storybook relationship with the person that has dementia. That person may have changed with the disease process and become mean or meaner, their words feel sharp as knives or maybe they are sad and they cry when separated from you. They need you but it is overwhelming and you feel like you are smothered. This is when guilt raises is nasty head. We start to feel like we ‘should’ and then ‘should’ becomes a requirement. You may have made a life outside of the family and become very successful, have lots of friends and is someone others count on. These successes all fade as you start the drive to your family’s house – you know something will happen but don’t know what. You anticipate that you will leave in tears. Please, call us at The Lamoine. Dealing with dementia is not a solo activity. It helps to have someone on the outside listen and work with you to find solutions. You are not alone at The Lamoine. We will continue to help the caregivers after their loved one has moved in. We will help you to heal and allow you to become the child again – or start a new relationship as the child you always wish you could have been.